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My job has been stagnating, but my life has changed so much. I was able to move out of my parents ‘ house and slowly (very slowly) work to pay for the credit card debt that I took in a year of madness after school. I fell in love with a great man who would never have met if these things had never happened to me. Now I live next to my family, something that I literally would never do if I hadn’t been forced into him (sorry, papa!), but it turned out to be a great source of comfort and fun for me. I met some great people who would never have met if I hadn’t had to move to Charlotte.As I was sitting at this airport, my first trip to Chicago since the end, I’ve found my reflection in my life towards those around me. In this weekend, I wanted one of my best friends for a master’s degree. Another great friend was celebrating, signing a proposal for the work of the international consulting firm of dreams. Watchlike a friend celebrating her marriage …
I’m thinking. My life doesn’t look like my life doesn’t look like I thought. I stumbled across a path that I’d never put myself out. And, yes, I’m still fighting it. Not because I’m unhappy, but because I feel like I’m disappointed in my past. I am from a naive, optimistic organizer of the community to a somewhat cynical specialist on credit, working in private wealth, simply trying to pay my bills …
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What’s the funniest thing to do in the post-grad life is that the questions never end. All the questions and fears that arose two years ago still surround me: what are you going to do from here? What are you gonna do with the rest of your life? Are you going back to school? I don’t know, I don’t know. To be honest, I think few people know. I still hope that one day I’ll have a job in something more passionate. I still hope for one day I don’t get my salary to pay. I still hope that one day I will come out of student debt. But now I’m trying to stay positive. I’m trying to appreciate everything that has happened to me since the moment I came out, and all the good things I have in my life are now. What I’ve learned since then, and through my depression after graduation, is that most of all, that’s all you can do. And it’s okay …
No more at school. Enjoy your new hobby. Enjoy your training, whatever you can from the weird, weird job you’re in. Revel, looking for your passions and learning what you want to do. Rebel in happy hours, and Sunday days without papers to write. Make the best of your post-grad with what you’ve been given, and depression won’t hold for too long …